Overall, it has been a long difficult emotional week. I have visited homework hell where at each corner was a new project waiting to be finished, tests and quizzes to study for, and homework assignments to complete. No, I am not talking about my homework, I am talking about William and Landon's homework. William is very good about completing his homework, studying, and working on his projects. Landon, on the other hand needs a fire lit under him. He will drag his feet until the last minute. Not sure who he takes after, but I know it's not me. ;) Our homework sessions this week have been exhausting, especially after a six hour day of teaching students with an emotional disability. Just when I thought my trip to homework hell is over, I then enter self regulation hell. It's been an overall difficult week for Gavin in regards to his self regulation. It's like he is crawling out of his skin. It's been difficult for him to sit still, and his sleeping pattern has changed. I noticed last night that he has a rash on his behind. Not sure if it is dry skin or is caused from yeast. Gavin has had quite a few yeast rashes. Which now leads me to think....hmmmm...Gluten or no gluten? He had his four year check up last week. I can't say enough good things about our pediatrician, Lisa Sevigny. She is the one who agreed with Phil, and saw the autism red flags. She is the one who made us pursue every avenue. She is the reason we started early intervention, and got Gavin the services he needed. I will be forever grateful to her for this. She told me last week how happy she is with all his progress, and how great he is doing. I remember Gavin's eighteen month check up like it was yesterday. He didn't talk, he didn't make eye contact, he ran around in circles in the exam room and stimmed off the lights. I remember, Dr. Sevigny's soft spoken voice. I remember her telling me she thought he had autism. I remember clearing my throat and saying, "Oh, ok.", and thinking not my kid. Clearly she is overreacting. Last week, she told me that she had no recommendations because I have everything covered and am on top of it. It was music to my ears. Then I thought about how much additional work comes with raising a child with special needs. I was thinking back this week to two years ago when Gavin was receiving 25 hours of intensive early intervention. William was sick for days. I was finally able to get him to the doctor after three days of a high temp and of him complaining about how sick he was. He ended up having strep, and was out of school for a total of four days. I think back to that time and remember how Phil had just started his new job in Billerica as an assistant principal. How the burden of juggling the household, the kids, and Gavin's therapy schedule rested on me. It was such a demanding and draining year, and we celebrated when it was over. Last year was a bit more relaxed. This school year seems to have started out with a busy bang. Phil has enrolled in a C.A.G.S. Program. (Certificate Advanced Graduate Studies). He is currently working on becoming certified as a school superintendent, and then his next step will be working towards his PhD. So, this is part of the reason the year has started off so busy. The majority of the homework burden rests on me, as well as attempting to schedule additional speech and OT evals and services for Gavin. The one thing I am realizing about having a child with special needs is that not only are their needs special, but they also consist of additional therapy needs outside of school. This is something I have been dragging my feet about for the past year, and it now has to happen. Especially with Gavin's sensory needs that seem to keep shifting. I am also working on cleaning up the basement and creating him a sensory space that consists of an indoor swing, a trampoline, as well as different sensory play stations. I just have to find the spare time to work on it.
So, to revisit the mention of gluten. At Gavin's check up last week, Dr. Sevigny asked if I would ever consider a gluten free diet. I told her that I wasn't sure. I was still on the fence about it. She suggested that maybe try it during the summer months. This way I wouldn't be teaching full time and would have more time to focus on eliminating the gluten from his diet. I just may try it this summer, and collect data. The data will help me answer the question....gluten or gluten free?
Last week I walked into the bathroom to find Gavin standing in the toilet splashing water all over himself. He had both feet in. Luckily there was nothing in the toilet. I immediately filled the bathtub, and he spent well over an hour in there. Then it dawned on me. He is missing the pool. He no longer is able to swim for hours each day. Probably one of the reasons he has been crawling out of his skin lately. He then asked me for a rice bucket. A rice bucket? Ok, Gav, one rice bucket coming up. We took a trip to the dollar store, stocked up on bags and bags of rice, and created one rice bucket. Gavin now uses his rice bucket each day. He loves it. The only negative.....there is rice all over my house! Every time I turn around I am stepping on rice.
We have started practicing for Halloween. Gavin has tried on several of William and Landon's old costumes. This has been our October ritual since the AD (autism diagnosis). We practice wearing costumes, holding a candy bag, and saying, "Trick or Treat." I will create a social story about Halloween for him to read with the hope that it will help him to make sense of putting on a costume and going trick or treating.
I have recently starting running again. Running is something I haven't done since BC (before children). My oldest will be twelve next month. So, I can't believe it's been twelve years since I was an avid runner. I am currently running 9 to 10 miles per week. I am finding that running is helping to save my life. My life as a mom with a son with autism. Running clears my mind and helps to focus it on what is really important. It reminds me to leave behind all the meaningless things. It helps to focus me on this journey.
As always, thanks for checking in. Not only does running save my life, but my family and friends do also. They listen when I'm down, they catch me when I fall, they love me for who I am, and support me as a person, a friend, and most importantly as a mom on an autistic journey. I continue to travel along on this journey called autism. I make mistakes, I succeed, I cry, I mourn, I laugh, I second guess, but most importantly, I enjoy the rice between my toes.
Enjoying the rice,
Paula
