Remember the saying, "March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb." Well, our March certainly came in like a lion. The end of February and into the month of March were very difficult trying times for our family on this journey. Gavin had a shift in behavior. Right after February school vacation, Gavin came down with a virus. He had a high temp, and ended up with an ear infection. Prior to the week he was sick, his behavior was, at times, unbearable. I honestly felt like he spent most of his day screaming. Screaming this ear piercing scream at the top of his lungs. He was sleeping horribly at night, up most nights three to four times. I spent most of the school vacation being exhausted. I realize now that he was probably trying to communicate with me that he wasn't feeling well, and was getting run down. I figured once his fever broke, the virus would be gone and he would be back to his somewhat old self with the exception of being on an antibiotic for the ear infection. Well, the week after was even worse then the week prior to him being sick. It was like Gavin was crawling out of his skin. He threw things when frustrated, screamed most of the time, and would not keep any clothes on during the day. It was nearly impossible to get him to even keep his underwear on. We were trying to figure out what changed. Did he eat something new? Did we change shampoo, soap, or laundry detergent? Then I realized that he was on an antibiotic. That was something new. Could this have caused him to be so dysregulated? My gut was telling me yes. During this time it was also difficult to get Gavin to sit still for any amount of time. Overall, he was just frustrated with life. Transitions were also difficult. I spent a great deal of time using visual pictures with Gavin to prepare him for a transition. As well as visual reminders to not scream, to use a quiet voice, to not throw things, and to keep his clothes on. It was purely exhausting. Oh, and I can't forget.....avoid making eye contact when he was having an outburst.
One Saturday in early March, William and Landon asked if we could go to Red Robin for lunch. Phil and I agreed with the boys that they deserved lunch at the Robin. I feel like most of the time we are doing things separately. One of us will take the two older boys some place, while the other stays home with Gavin. We are trying to work on scheduling individual one on one time with all of the boys. Which in today's busy world can seem impossible. We arrived at Red Robin and Gavin immediately gravitated towards a car video game. Phil waited to be seated. Well, the waiter seated us at a round table. My first thought was that there was no way Gavin was going to remain seated at a table. I was praying that Phil could read my mind. That he would speak up and get a booth. Sure enough he did! I could see him talking to the waiter and pointing to some empty booths. Then I could see the waiter shaking his head no. I was sending Phil vibes to not back down. To get them to change our table. Well, that didn't happen. I successfully transitioned Gavin to the table, however, Gavin refused to sit. He was up and running all around. Phil's reaction was to stand up and announce that we were leaving. I looked at William and Landon and saw the sadness in their eyes. It made my heart cry. I asked Phil to give it a chance. I then flagged down a waitress and told her about Gavin. I asked her to find us a booth. That I wanted to enjoy lunch together as a family and not chase my autistic son around the restaurant. She was great. She immediately moved us to a booth. Overall, it was a great lunch. The boys enjoyed themselves. Gavin did attempt to take off all his clothes. I was able to distract, entertain, and convince him to keep them on. He did take off his shoes, proceed to stand on the seat, jump, and flap. People were staring. Honestly, the new Paula didn't care. My kid was happy. He was being his happy self. What more could I ask for?
We also had Gavin's annual IEP review meeting at the beginning of March. Being in the role of a special education teacher during an IEP meeting is much easier then being in the role of a special education parent. Honestly, it is difficult to really listen to anything that is being said due to the fact that it is your child being talked about. Throughout the meeting I kept thinking, "Who would have thought I would be a special education parent someday?" "Who would have thought that it would be my son that has autism?" Gavin will continue to attend school full time in a PDD classroom. He will also receive speech and occupational therapy during the week. Gavin will also attend summer school. So, overall a successful IEP meeting.
The weekend after Gavin's IEP meeting we started the brushing program with him. Good news is that we saw immediate results within days. We are currently brushing him every two hours as well as doing joint compressions. Gavin's teacher and occupational therapist also created a sensory diet for him to use at home. Gavin is always seeking sensory input. So, this has also been helping. Since beginning the brushing program we have noticed an increase in eye contact, language, focusing, as well as playing with toys. We have two weeks left of brushing, then we stop. The effects of the program are suppose to have lasting effects and help to rewire the nervous system.
I also want to take a minute to give you a few facts from an Autism Speaks presentation that I recently attended. First, there is an 80% divorce rate of parents of children on the autism spectrum. Phil and I are working hard to not become part of those statistics. Second, it takes an average of $55,000 a year to raise an autistic child. Which now leads me to the G-Man Foundation. The G-Man Foundation Race for Autism Awareness will take place on April 15th. You can download the race application on the website www.gmanfoundation.com. The foundation will help kids and families affected by autism. In the midst of me creating this foundation, I have encountered some pretty amazing people early one. To Gavin's staff who made a generous donation to help get the foundation off the ground, to my colleague, Kathy, who is helping me organize the race, to my colleagues at work who are donating cases of water as well as raffle items, to my friends and family who are creating baskets for the raffle. Thank you. If you only knew how much I appreciate every single one of you. Today, one of the fourth grade students in Ms. Durkins' classroom was sent to my room. She was holding an envelope. Written on the front of the envelope was her name, Kimberly, Autism Awareness, and the amount of $22.25. She handed me the envelope to be used as a donation. I asked her where she got all this money. Her response was, "The 25 cents I found, the 2 dollars is from my dad (it was suppose to be my lunch money), and the $20 was my allowance." My eyes immediately filled with tears, and I had to look away. I praised her for donating her hard earned allowance to such a great cause. I asked her if she knew what autism was. She didn't. So, I did my best to explain it to her. I am hoping to introduce her to Gavin. I am amazed at what this young girl did. A great big thank you to Kimberly's parents! What an amazing daughter you have! Kimberly will always hold a very special place in my heart. When my dark autism cloud creeps up above and stays for a while, I am going to think of Kimberly and what she did for these kids. She will help clear that dark cloud away.
My niece, Nicole, recently had to do a project on a developmental disability. She chose autism. She asked if she could interview my family as well as Gavin. We did the interview last week. She presented it to her class today. I have not seen the video yet. But, I did ask her if I could get a copy to post on the blog. So, hopefully I will be able to do that soon.
April 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day. This is a day we celebrate the joys of having Gavin. We will wear blue to honor my boy. We have blue light bulbs and blue lanterns to "Light It Up Blue." It is also a day that I spend sometime recognizing Gavin's educators. Honestly, I feel like it is a holiday in my house.
Lastly, I am ready for March to leave like a lamb. I have learned a lot this month, even with all the madness. I have grown as a mother, I have grown as a person, I have grown as an educator, and I have grown a little more familiar with autism. I have grown to embrace it.
God Bless,
Paula
Sending you prayers for peace this easter season. I wish you all the love a family can hold!
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