For the Love of the Game

     This past week has been difficult for Gavin.  His sensory needs seemed to stabilize the second week of school.  This past week his entire sensory integration system shifted.  I was continuously reminding him to take his hands out of his pants, or out of his shirt.  He also wanted continuous oral motor input.  He would either be making noises with his tongue, spit, mouth, stuff his mouth with food, or want to continuously eat and eat and eat.  By Wednesday, he was on overload, while all I wanted to do at this point was curse autism for the hold it had on my boy.  I was left guessing as to what caused the shift.  What caused autism to grab and hold tighter.  I had two guesses.  One being the change of the seasons.  The transition of wearing shorts and short sleeves to long pants and long sleeves. The other reason being the full moon!  Gavin spent some time outside this morning.  When he came in, he looked at me and said, "pj's, pj's."  He then spent the rest of the afternoon lounging in his pj's.  The quiet before the storm.....late this afternoon I took a look at him and noticed it.  His eyes said it all.  He was sick.  Sure enough, his temp was 103.  So, now I am thinking or should I say guessing that his sensory shift was due to him getting sick.  He worked so hard to regulate himself this week, and struggled so hard to do this. When this happens, autism clenches, holds tight, and puts up a fight to loosen its grip.
     Lately when Gavin wants something he will ask you in a form of a question.  For example, he will say, "Mama, do you want peanut butter toast?"  My response will be, "No Gavin, I do not want peanut butter toast."  He will keep asking you over and over again until you ask him, "Gavin do you want peanut butter toast?"  His response will be, "yes!"  We are currently working on teaching him how to ask for things without asking if you want it.  Just one of our many autism struggles.
     With the changing of the season, comes the changing of sports and activities.  My boys have transitioned from summer basketball to football and scouting.  Football is such a great outlet for William.
     Gavin has attended all of William's football games.  Overall, he has done well.  He enjoys walking up and down the bleachers during the games.  I usually am crossed eyed by the end of the game from attempting to keep one eye on Gavin and the other eye on the game.  After each game, Gavin loves to carry William's football equipment to the car.  I am guessing he gets a lot of sensory input by carrying the heavy equipment.

Landon enjoys participating in boy scouts and will be starting fall basketball soon.
Recently I have thought about what sport Gavin would be playing if autism didn't have a hold on him.  Would he want to try soccer? T-ball?  Would he want to ski?  I see pictures of 4 years olds who are playing their first sport, and I become envious.  Envious that these little boys and girls will find a sport, and play for the love of the game.  I recently told my two older boys that we need to try to find a sport that Gavin can understand and play.  Maybe he will like football?  Their response was, "Mom, Gavin has autism.  He won't be playing sports."  My reply, "Yes, Gavin does have autism, however, we will help him do anything he wants to do.  We are a team.  We will help him understand sports through his eyes, and play for the love of his understanding of the game."
     Autism, you continue to have a hold on my boy.  Sometimes your grip is tighter, and sometimes it loosens a bit.  We celebrate our victories and pick ourselves up from our defeats.  Autism, you are my game, and I am learning to play for the love of the game.  Thank you for the reality check this week.  As much as you sometimes defeat me, you also remind me of what is important.

Playing for the love of the game,

Paula