I am blessed that Lynne (Gavin's teacher), practiced singing happy birthday during summer school. Gavin's immediate response was screaming and crying. Lynne was able to work her magic and get him to listen and sing a long with his friends while they sang happy birthday to him. She even practiced and got him to understand how to blow out a candle (of course it was an imaginary candle). Thank you, Lynne, for again seeing things through Gavin's eyes and helping me understand as well as him.
After summer school, we went out for a family lunch to celebrate. Lunch was a disaster. Gavin spent the majority of the time having to be redirected. He was screaming, jumping, and flapping. I brought him to the car at one point to see if I could get him to regulate himself. However, nothing seemed to be working. At one point he crawled under the table and attempted to take his clothes off. That's when I realized that he was probably just on sensory overload. We managed to get him to come out and keep his clothes on. I was able to give him deep pressure to his arms and legs. This seemed to do the trick for the time being. After a long and less then calming lunch we decided to take a ride to a delicious bakery so that the boys could decorate their own cupcakes. The entire car ride, Gavin either screamed, threw things, or unbuckled his seat belt. At one point, William said, "Why do we have to have someone with autism in our family!" I could hear the anger in his voice. Again, had to stop the tears. I had to think fast on my feet. I needed a good response. I wanted to respond with, "I feel the same way! WHY!" Instead, I took a deep breath and responded with, "Because Gavin is our gift. Yes, it is very frustrating some days. We have to remember that we were chosen to be Gavin's family. We need to make a difference for him and this world."
So, we arrived at the delicious bakery only to find out that you need to give a 2 day notice if you want to decorate your own cupcakes. Instead we waited in line and ordered our cupcakes. While waiting in line Gavin continuously ran behind the counter into the kitchen area. I had to continuously redirect him back to the line where we were waiting. We finally completed our cupcake order, paid, and sat down to enjoy our yummy treats, then the fire alarm went off. I immediately looked at Gavin and thought, oh crap this could go either way. He is either going to freak out and have a meltdown, or he is going to tolerate the noise. Well, Gavin just sat there and looked at the fire alarm that was buzzing loudly. He had a calm look on his face. I looked into his eyes and could almost see what he was thinking. He was thinking, "Oh, come on fire alarm. I am here to enjoy my yummy cupcake. Please stop!" We had to evacuate the bakery. We brought our cupcakes with us, and finished eating them outside. On the way home from the bakery all I could do was laugh. I laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Phil asked me what was so funny. I told him the entire day was funny. It was just a typical day in our autistic world. It was my sign from above. God was letting me know to always expect the unexpected. You can plan and want things to be perfect, however, life isn't about that. It is about finding the joy in life. My joy was hearing that fire alarm, and being able to listen to my son's response to it by looking through his eyes. A baby step closer to finding that key.
I was thinking a lot lately how Gavin would probably never be invited to a friend's birthday party. I began wondering if any parents living in an autistic world thought or felt the same way. I decided to turn my birthday grief into something positive. Phil and I booked a birthday party at a gymnastics place. We invited both PDD classrooms in his school, as well as our friend, Brock, who is also on the spectrum. What a great day. I am crying tears of joy as I type. I made a visual schedule for the party, as well as topic boards. The kids were able to use the bouncy house and obstacle course. We had gluten free cupcakes, popsicles, and goody bags. I saw so many laughs, giggles, and happy kids. All the children sat at a table and were able to sing happy birthday to Gavin. He didn't scream or cry. He sang and was so happy. Phil and I sat this afternoon and reflected upon the day. We shared how happy we were. We talked about how great it was to see all the kids so happy. What a happy autistic world it was today.
I noticed that after the party Gavin was so relaxed. There was very little screaming this afternoon and evening. He was so happy. He walked around the house holding a balloon singing happy birthday over and over again.
After Gavin fell asleep this evening, I sat and stared at him for a while. I closed my eyes and thought of how far we have come. How I never in a million years would have dreamed that I would be told "Your son is autistic." How never in a million years would I have dreamed that I would be hosting an autistic birthday party. How everyone has a story to tell. Everyone has a battle to fight. My battle is my son's autism. I will fight this battle until the day I die. I will teach his brothers how to fight the autism battle. Somedays I will come out on top, some days I will be defeated, and some days I will raise my white flag. Autism, today I fought you and won! What a glorious day it was.
In victory,
Paula
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