A letter to my firstborn on his birthday

Dear William,

     12 years ago today at 3:27 p.m., I became a mother.  12 years ago today I began an incredible journey of motherhood.  It feels like 12 years have gone by in a blink of an eye.  I remember when you were placed in my arms for the first time.  The sight of you took my breath away.  I remember the first time you smiled.  I remember your first word, your first step, your first day of kindergarten.  I remember the day you became a big brother.  I experienced so many "motherhood firsts" with you.

     I notice what a kind hearted young man you are growing into.  I am so incredibly proud of you.  I often find myself stopping what I am doing to watch you interact with your baby brother.  You make him laugh and you teach him about unconditional love.  I appreciate your honesty, and hope that you will always be willing to tell me how you feel and what you are thinking.  I know that there are days that you despise autism being in your life.  I know there are some days that you wish things could be different.  William, some days I have the same wish.  I know in my heart that autism is helping to shape you into a better person.  You can now pick autism out in a crowd.  You are leading a road to acceptance and understanding.  You recognize special needs in different people.  You acknowledge that it is ok to be different.  I love how you have nicknames for your little brothers, and I love how they look at you with such love in their hearts.  

     I dream about your future.  I dream about where you will go to high school, which college you will attend.  I dream about which career path you will take.  I dream about the day you become a father.  I hope and pray that life will be kind to you.   Thanks for loving your brothers.  Thank you for guiding them, having patience, and being a great role model.  Thank you for choosing me to be your mom.  Happy birthday to my firstborn son.  I love you.

Love,

Mom  xoxo