At the beginning of March, I embarked on a new journey. A journey of weight loss. I received an email about a weight loss challenge that was being offered to the staff at my school, the Biggest Loser. The first weigh in being March 1st and the last being May 31st. The amount of weight you lost each week would be calculated into a percentage. The person with the highest percentage of weight loss at the end of the competition would win money. It was a $25 pay in, and you had to pay $2 at the weekly weigh in if you gained during the week. I remember thinking, "hmmm, I can't seem to shed this baby weight. Instead of losing it, I keep gaining it. I haven't weighed myself in months. Now that I think of it, I haven't weighed myself since the autism diagnosis. I barely squeezed into my clothes each morning, always thinking that my clothes were so old that they had to be shrinking. I decided that the challenge was just what I needed to reclaim myself physically. I paid my $25 pay in, walked into the nurse's office on March 1st and stepped onto the scale. I said to myself, "Holy crap! Her scale is completely wrong. I can't possibly weigh that much!" We were all given a number instead of a name. This way our results would be kept confidential. Nurse Jill then told me that I was lucky number 13. Lucky number 13? How could that be?! I was the heaviest I was in my life besides the times that I was pregnant. I hated the number 13! I went home that night after my first weigh in. I sat for a while and cried. I cried about the old me, I cried thinking about the task that lied in front of me. Not only did my son's autism diagnosis bring me heartache, it also brought me weight gain. I spent the past two years juggling all of his early intensive intervention, working full time, as well as attempting to meet William and Landon's needs. I thought once Gavin went to school full time that it would be easier to budget my time, however, it became more difficult. It's been hectic attempting to juggle William's and Landon's sports schedules, as well as help them with school projects, studying, and homework. Never mind the school work that I was bringing home each night.
So, it began......the journey of weight loss. I awoke the next day after my first weigh in and re-evaluated my life. I realized that I was putting myself last. I spent all of my time taking care of everyone else, that there was no time at the end of the day for me. I realized then that my lifestyle needed to change. I needed to reclaim ME!
The next three months consisted of calorie counting, very limited alcohol consumption, and lots of exercise. My alarm went off most mornings for my 4:30 am exercise wake up call. Most evenings I would lace up my sneakers and go for a long run. It was the first time that I put myself first for one hour per day. Each week, I stepped on the scale and watched the number go down.
On May 31st, Lucky Number 13 was awarded the title of The Biggest Loser. I am now $468 richer and 20 lbs thinner. Thank you to each one of my colleagues who participated in the contest. You helped me, inspired me, encouraged me, and taught me how to reclaim myself!
Next week is Gavin's ADA (Autism Diagnosis Anniversary). It is the day that our lives changed forever. Gavin will be graduating from his Pre-K CSA program 3 years from the exact date that we were given the diagnosis. This week William was inducted into the National Junior Honor Society. While I was beaming with pride during the ceremony, I also had what I called my autism demons pay me a visit. These demons make me feel sad for what Gavin will not have! They take away from me living in the moment and enjoying what my other two boys do have. I am working hard to rid these demons from my life, and to learn how to live in the present moment for each one of my children's victories. I'm learning to take life one minute at a time, focus on the present road, and look for the humor in each situation. More importantly, I'm learning to find time for myself and live a healthy, happy life.
Lucky Number 13 (a.k.a. The Biggest Loser),
Paula
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